Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer
I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes
Babies have no concept of object permanence
That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read.
When you’re failing gym class and you tryna get ya grade up at the last minute
I was born in the wrong generation. This generation is still racist as fuck and I can’t download a pizza. Wake me up in the year 3019.
*Update from the year 3000* not much has changed but we live underwater
How’s my great-great-great-granddaughter?
She’s doin’ fine
the spell can only be broken by true love’s high-five
Ariana Grande sounds like a font on Microsoft Word